“God, this is so embarrassing. How I am going to look in front of my family and friends? They will think that I am a narcissist. It is a pity that I didn´t know that SAShE would start up in a month. Well, I put the photos only on Myspace, where nobody knew me.”
I am not sure if it was a real collection as it coherent line was missing a little bit. During my studies at the technical high school focused on fashion I put together a few test designs by myself. Simple classic: skirts, jackets, etc. However, when I started studying at the university I realized that I had been hard up for sewing and creating new things. I looked forward to every holidays because it was the time when I finally had enough space to accomplish my first recycled designs. The fabrics that I was using were given to me by my grandmother, mother´s aunt and by our attic. My mom considered the things as rubbish and she got always angry when I carried some “new stuff” into my working room. And it was a lot of stuff…A LOT. So I preferred to process it in secrecy.
My first photoshoot was a secret, too. Self-timer was my photographer and I was a model. My most essential inspiration was the attic of our family house as I brought almost all the material away from it. What a nice cycle. Recycling under one roof.
It was year 2009 and until the very last moment I wasn´t sure whether I would get an acceptance for the master´s studies. I spent the whole summer lying with sinusitis and toothache in my bed at home. Well, trust me, I didn´t feel ok: no job, no school, no friends, no summer… Only awkward empty feeling like I don´t belong anywhere. I was probably a little bit depressed… like indie rock singers that I used to listen at that time. 🙂 The summer was almost over and I wasn´t getting any response from the school. As I wanted to feel less miserable, I decided to take some photos of my occasional long-term work. In spite of the fact that the voice in my head was saying: “God, this is going to be so embarrassing. How I am going to look in front of my family and friends? They will think that I am a narcissist.” I did it. It is a pity that I didn´t know that SAShE ( Slovak website similar to Etsy.com ) would start up in a month. Well, I put the photos only on Myspace, where nobody knew me. I feel like I am showing you pictures from our family photo album.
My mum is still not sure what I am doing. Sometimes even I don´t know what I am doing. 🙂 Family is fine, it wants the best for you: good education, work and security. I myself will want the same for my kids. However, the tangled affair begins when their (your family´s) conception of your life differs from your idea, but you want to be faithful to your family. I am not going to bring you any solution to such situation, I´d better say that I approach this conflict of interests with a great respect and honour. It is impossible to change thinking of some people as well as mine and that´s why I do not look down on the situation negatively. As time went on I met my “external family” , it means the people who understood what I wanted to do. The first member of the family was my external sibling who subconsciously directed me to go the way I wanted and supported my positive opinion on sewing and fashion business. He gave me impetus to take photos of my first collection. I was talking about it so much that there was no way to avoid it. You certainly have an airplane at home, too…
My family is growing as well as the external one and I am very curious who is going to appear next.
I moved from the attic to my room and to the living room…of course when I was home alone.
Do you know what is the best about the photos? From my point of view the thing is that the final result is despite zero experience that I had very well done. Without any great effort or exhaustive focus.. Nowadays, when I am going to have a photoshoot I plan styling, outfits and good camera very carefuly… and my final satisfaction is mostly ok, but sometimes a little bit questionable. Everything could be better. But at the attic photoshoot I didn´t focus on anything (well, I was just taking care of the camera not to fell down as I didn´t have any tripod). I only had a small digital Pentax, I didn´t think about the right styling, make-up, hairstyle or composition. I didn´t take a million pictures. Maybe some things are just meant to be and if we hesitate for so long as I did, it must be only perfect.
I don´t have the designs in my eshop but if you like something just let me know and we can make a project.
I cannot say if these models are in fashion now or if it has ever been fashionable, but to me they mean an eternal beauty with a story that I created with my own hands. What do you think? I looking forward to your comments.